Someone has cornered you into a diatribe that seems to have little to do with you, your interests, or who you are. You never get a word in edgewise and find yourself praying to be summoned to another room or hoping that your cell phone will ring (hint – in a jam just pretend it vibrated). You probably have, half out of politeness and half out of empathy, nodded or smiled from time to time. You realize that this is regrettably some validation or encouragement, but you do so nonetheless. The speaker is unable to discern from any variety of your gestures and mannerisms that you have absolutely no interest in what he (or she) is saying.
Come now, “The Convo Meter!” This is a devise that could be quietly distributed at parties to all guests by our host or hostess ( so as to avoid any suggestion of favoritism). It is a small electronic sensor worn around the neck with tiny directional microphones. It would be programmed with the simple logic that a conversation should be a 50/50 proposition. It monitors incoming and outgoing words. In the ideal conversation, its “needle” would hover around the middle – indicating a true exchange of thoughts, words, and ideas. 60/40, perhaps even 65/35 would be tolerable (this should be a program options). However, as the conversation tilts inexorably towards the relentless verbal domination of the wearer, a series of escalating warnings would alert this drone that the conversation is unbalanced, and had better shut up, listen a little, or simply disengage. Much like a collar for a wireless dog fence, the first cue could be a tone audible only to the wearer, the next, perhaps a vibration, finally absent any signs of relenting, our orator will be delivered an electric shock of sufficient severity to stun him for several seconds and allow his long-suffering silent partner to quietly slip away. Perhaps the shock could be directed so as to temporarily stun the wearer’s vocal apparatus itself – another tech issue.
Anyway just a passing thought. Do you think I would need FDA approval
for this? Cheers.