If you haven't seen the film "Bully," it's a must-see. After viewing it, I had words buzzing through my head all day - until I finally got to my keyboard. I hope these verses capture something of it. Mostly, I hope they relay what a friend can do and the ultimate power of kindness. The final verses are, I hope, verses of hope.
The Good Day
By Frederick Alimonti
(inspired by the film “Bully”)
It was a good day in school today.
No one talked to me.
No one hit me.
No one hurt me.
It was a good day.
The day after the big game;
And it was all the talk of the bus.
No one hit me.
No one hurt me.
It was a good day.
I saw the game too.
No one cares what I think.
No one asked.
I think no one saw me.
I sat alone in the back of the bus,
Knees at my chin
Quite invisible, I think
Happy to be unnoticed.
Even the boy in the red sweatshirt;
The one who pounds on me
Seemed not to see me.
He left me alone today
It was a good day.
At lunch, I sat alone.
My hood hid my face.
It kept me invisible
No one sat with me.
No one spoke to me.
Offered to trade desserts.
But no one tipped my tray.
Or stole my dessert.
It was a good day.
I saw others talk
Even punch, but in play,
Not in a mean way.
I wondered what that was like.
To have a friend.
To have someone say “hi”
To ask about your day, and care
Still, it was a good day.
No one hit me
No one hurt me
No one said a word [to me].
The ride home was the same
I was a phantom
It was a good ride home.
That was my good day.
No words, no friends
But no hits, no taunts.
A day without a single kind word
No pat on the back
No smile in my direction.
Yet it was a good day.
When you’re bullied,
That’s a good day.
A really good day.
There will have been no big game.
I will reappear,
And they will hurt me.
Tonight, I will dream-
Dream of a smile,
A kind word
A simple hello.
I will dream of a friend
A friend who cares;
Who cares what I think
And how I’m doing
A friend to sit with on the bus
And at lunch
A friend who includes me.
I convince myself
That someday that will happen.
Someday that will be true.
Then, I will have a great day!
God, Evolution, and Overkill
This will be my last heavy posting for a while; it will be refreshing to move on to lighter fare for a bit.
If this is your first blog read, I don’t profess to “know” that there is a God nor do I endorse creationism as a substitute for science. Rather, I simply believe that there is a spiritual element to existence that is perfectly compatible with science and our quest to know all that is knowable. Science is not heresy, but rather an essential component of man’s drive to learn and improve. I am not out to convert anyone, except perhaps to suggest that we all need to look beyond the constraints of what we think we know and open our minds to other possibilities.
One of the things that puzzles me though is that it seems to me that, in certain areas, nature and natural selection (if this is all you believe in), have really outdone themselves. It would seem that once a certain level of evolutionary advantage is attained, there is no real advantage to pushing beyond the bare minimum to survive and prevail. The rest is evolutionary overkill. It seems to me that we are blessed, for lack of a better word, with senses and appreciations that far exceed these minima, and there are others for which there is no real evolutionary explanation.
Let’s take beauty for example. Now, we can never know if our primate cousins take a moment to enjoy the beauty of the sunset – maybe they do. But seriously, what could be the evolutionary advantage of an innate tendency to stop and smell the roses? Certainly, some ancestor of ours would have been better served by scurrying on back up the tree rather than stopping, dropping his guard, breathing in the fragrant spring air, and thereby becoming someone else’s lunch. If we accept that our ability, not only to appreciate beauty but to create it, is unique to man, where on earth did it come from? Was it just some happy confluence of other evolved abilities that we put to a new use when we could safely spare the time? (as language is postulated to be) Isn’t that hard to accept as the singular explanation?
Let’s compare two senses: olfactory (smelling) and auditory (hearing).
We all know first-hand how primal our sense of smell is. It is almost in instinctive sense, and a smell’s ability to revive memories and even emotions somehow feels basic, if not impulsive and uncontrollable.
Hearing, on the other hand, and more specifically, hearing and music is so much more. Our ability to hear, discern, appreciate, and be emotionally overcome by music could only have arisen after man had the ability to create music. Quite a coincidence! Think of a symphony orchestra: strings, woodwinds, horns, percussion – each with many component instruments, all playing different but related parts, and it all makes perfect beautiful musical sense to us – musician or not. Why on earth were we gifted with a sense of hearing that seems to give us so much more than we really need? How is that as we learned to create music, we found we already had the ability to appreciate it in ever increasing levels of complexity and beautiful harmonies?
Yet music, this late-arriving form of expression, seems to have unequalled ability to inspire, exhilarate, and motivate. Indeed, it can inspire a soldier to go out and kill just as it can inspire us to look within ourselves to the depths of despair and the heights of exhilaration. How can we explain the unique capacity of music to move us with science alone? And yes, I know there are theories. But that’s all they are. I for one cannot explain the glory of Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony in terms of frequencies, time signatures, and harmonics. Like so many other wonders in our world - natural or otherwise - it seems imbued with elements of the divine.
I won't even try to examine the evolutionary advantages of "love," that apparently unique human quality. Maybe another blog.
So alas, perhaps there are wonders and miracles all around, beyond the science for which evolution alone is not explanation enough. So why this abundance of sensory stimuli and the senses and abiltiies to appreciate them? I am reminded of a line from The Color Purple, maybe it’s just God’s way of showing off.
“On God and Baseball”
In the “battle” over the existence [or not] of God, there are two schools - generally described as believers and non-believers. To state the obvious, the believers believe in God and, in some instances, they attribute this belief to personal experience and inspiration; they may even claim to “know” that there is a God. Non-believers, to the contrary, will point to science and deny the existence of God; some claim to be quite sure that there is no God, perhaps again claiming to “know” this to be true. And so, regrettably, the battle lines are drawn.
In truth, this is likely a pointless exercise with one school relying on science and the other on faith and spiritualty. So what is the baseball connection, or more precisely the connection to baseball salaries of all things?
Have you ever heard words to the effect: “I can’t believe that we pay baseball players millions of dollars to play a game?” This is an absolutely valid and entirely emotional point. What true lover of baseball would not play the game virtually for free if indeed he/she could play this wonderful kid’s game for a living?
An economist might respond that these players are the top 25 employees of a billion dollar business; they are the product; they make the business possible, draw the revenue, and of course they deserve to be handsomely paid for this contribution. In sum, they are paid what the market will bear just like anyone else. This is a perfectly valid and logical scientific/economic point.
I do not mean to belittle the importance of God and his (or her - seriously can God even have a gender) existence by comparing it to America’s pastime, but the analogy has some merit. In our two sample arguments above, one party makes an emotional or spiritual argument, the other a scientific or logical one. Both parties have valid points - but from such different disciplines that their reconciliation is difficult.
Yet it seems the problem is often that, with respect to God and religion anyway, these two somewhat irreconcilable perspectives insist on condemning the other’s views rather than respecting, questioning, and examining them - and dare I say even enjoying them. This is as true for the religious zealot condemning evolution as heresy as it is for the militant atheist belittling any church-goer as something south of a simpleton.
As someone who admittedly does believe in a spiritual component to our existence, I offer the following thoughts:
First, it would seem that both camps can simply begin with respecting the positions of the other, and this means that both believers and non-believers need to approach one another with some sense of humility and openness (a sense of humor never hurts either!).
Second, absent some godly manifestation in our lifetime, it is unlikely that
anyone will be able to prove the existence of God. And to those who claim to “know” that there is no God, the same applies - I think more so.
Let’s look at a few of the common atheist arguments:
Evolution disproves God. Get serious. It does nothing of the sort. One can wholly endorse all of science and evolution and indeed seek to unlock science’s every mystery yet still believe in God. What forces compelled mutations and variation? Science has yet to fully explain this and may never. I for one find the notion that even millions of years of mutation, variation, and natural selection could produce even an insect – yet alone a man – so fantastic that it compels me to seek answers elsewhere.
And yes, that is a place where science and faith intertwine. It is indeed apples and oranges my friends. Those who take evolution, which explains so much, as the end all and be all of creation, seem to be arguing that if you put together enough monkeys and enough typewriters, one monkey will write War and Peace. No it won’t, and I don’t care how many monkeys are in the room!
Yet, even if we fully concede that there was no supernatural force involved in life's creation and that evolution tells the whole story, we still have to explain “stuff.” Yeah, just plain stuff, matter, the Big Bang, the substance of the universe. Where the heck did all this stuff come from? When you think about it, nothingness is a whole lot easier to understand than “stuff.” Why is there anything? Was it always there? Was there ever just nothing? It isn't nothing still really sort of something? Empy space is still space after all. It’s really a mind-bender.
I get the Big Bang, and it’s the best theory we have at the moment. But where the heck did all of this stuff - this super-dense mass of matter come from? Once we know that, where did the stuff it was made from come from, and then the stuff before it, etc. etc. etc. At some point in this explanation, physics and metaphysics collide, and isn’t that wonderful? Isn’t this an area of such delicious ambiguity that both the scientist and the theologian really should embrace one another ? Isn’t that where faith and science meet, and the real fun begins?!
Just like the Big Bang comments above, isn’t it the role of science to keep drilling down through both time and matter. It is only relatively recently that we came to know molecules and atoms. Now we understand many of the particles that comprise atoms and the myriad byproducts of smashing atoms apart and crunching them together. At the end of each discovery is the “is.” We found a new wave or particle and it simple exists. It simple is. We don’t know why it is or where it come from, it just “is.” And no matter how much we learn, we will always drill down to the next level of “is.” And in the “IS,” I would argue, is the undeniable touch of God. But don’t ask me to prove it.
And let me just touch on the notions of “knowing” and“believing.” I for one do not know that there is a God, but I do believe in one. When someone tells me that they have such faith or have had such experience so as to know that there is a God, I take no offense. They have had a conviction or perhaps an experience that I lack, and their senses, mind, and dare I say soul have taken their faith to a higher level – one beyond my own. If this person has a closed mind to science, tolerance, and other belief systems, then, we should take issue and indeed offense. But if this is a person who embraces debate, tolerates opposing views, and seeks truth, what does it matter that his belief system is rooted in the conviction that God indeed exists?
Those who claim to know there is a God base this knowledge on some actual
experience, profound faith, or some combination of these. No, this is not a
perfect or infallible, but it is based on an individual human experience, and
someone’s claim to have experienced God is entitled to at least the same respect as we give to anyone else’s perceptions of their reality through our admittedly imperfect senses.
I cannot say the same of the atheist who professes to know there is a no God.
This an arrogant claim to know what is unknowable. They simply cannot know this; they can only believe it, or I guess, not believe it. Unlike the example above, the atheist can only disprove God by proving a negative – a much more challenging problem in logic. We can prove that anything exists by coming up with a single example. Trying to prove something does not exist, is quite another matter. It requires proving a thing does not exist anywhere, anytime – even in the alternate dimensions and universes that science postulates. Good luck with that. While one 's personal experience of God is a valid, and indeed the only, basis upon which to believe in God, another person experience of God's absence does not preclude God's existence. It merely defines a single person's belief.
Only when we, as a race of men, know everything, can we even begin to claim to “know” that there is no God. And my friends, we will never know everything. We will never know what forces exist beyond the range of our senses, even with all technological contrivances, to detect. There are doubtless countless waves, particles, and energies, the existence of which we may never have a clue.
So where does this bring us? Well, playing a game for a living does not preclude making a lot of money any more than scientific explanations preclude the existence of God. And the real fun begins when open-minded people of differing views share, argue, and respect one another’s views.
So enjoy the game!
And if you’re still with me, I have it on good authority that God roots for the Mets and the Cubs, but he [obviously] does not seem inclined to interfere!
Well, here I go. Most of my writing on adult subjects has a strong religious and spiritual subtext. Recent interactions on the internet have further piqued my fascination with God, god, gods, religion, spiritualism, humanism, atheism, and various iterations in between.
So much about religion is fascinating, perhaps nothing more so than the passion it arouses and the level of intolerance associated with more extreme adherents. As such, let’s start with a basic premise and build.
I posit as follows: Any belief system, whether devoutly religious or defiantly atheist, that has among its canon a notion of superiority is inherently flawed and dangerous. For it is only from a position of superiority that we can set aside empathy and regard another human being as “lesser.” And once a person, or even worse, a creed or culture, takes that first critical step of regarding another [insert “person,” “creed,” “culture,” “race,” “religion,” “sexual orientation,” etc.] as “lesser,” it is
but a small step to declare this same group as less fit-to-live than those occupying one’s own exalted status. The remaining step of putting those beliefs into action is but a breath away - whether it be restricting your child acceptable playmates, strapping a bomb to a bus, or fomenting a culture of genocide. They are rooted in the same insidious concepts of singularity and superiority.
Ironically, for the overwhelming majority of us, our religious persuasion is nothing more than an accident of birth. We make no considered choice but rather adopt with childlike innocence whatever belief system is passed onto us from our loving parents. The implications of this are both ironic and powerful. It is ironic insofar as no religious zealot would ever concede that they would willingly – if not blindly – have adhered to entirely different belief system if they had just been born into it. This would undermine the whole notion that they were uniquely chosen and anointed. If so questioned, the zealot would likely respond with some circular and fatalistic argument that their god had chosen him/her and their “people.”
Being born into this faith was no accident. Of course, the few that actually do chose and change beliefs will lay claim to even a higher exalted status for themselves and their one true belief.
And who could dispute the power of our family, extended family, and later our peers, to influence the very core of our beliefs? We all must accept that
were we raised in a family and extended family that “taught” us to fear, hate,
and, if necessary exterminate, we would all almost certainly adopt and endorse
this “faith.” Add an insular element – a component of nearly all extremism – and the potential for the intrusion of reality is controlled and the ability to dehumanize the heathen outsider is further assured.
Whether you are religious or not, beware the “monopoly on salvation” mentality. Yes, even an atheist can adopt the same insular and hateful mindset. Witness the militant atheist who “knows” that there is no god. He is no less arrogant than the
bible-thumping hate-mongering racist “Christian minster” relegating all but his
select followers to damnation for daring to take another path to salvation. So dear reader this all comes down to but one thought – tolerance. The debates of god,“his” existence, the truth of religious history, the meaning of the Bible, the Koran, the Gita, the gnostic texts, etc. are all fascinating subjects for the most lively and spirited of debates - a debate all religions should embrace. In fact, it is perfectly fine and indeed desirable to embrace and enjoy your own faith. However, the faith of another need not threaten our own. It can in fact enhance it. What wonders there are
indeed in the thoughts, teachings, and cultures of others!
So I offer one aspect of any religion to reject, isolation. Reject the notion that yours is the one true belief. Reject the notion that adherents to other religions have some lesser place before god than you. And for God’s sake, reject the notion that you or “your people” have been “chosen” exclusively for anything.